Monday, November 1, 2010

Why doesn't my guy cuddle after sex?

Why doesn't my guy cuddle after sex?

When it comes to the moments following sex, there are three types of guys: "cuddlers," "snorers," and "up-and-outers."

When their hearts are in the right place, most guys start out as cuddlers. In the early stages of infatuation, a potent chemical cocktail is keeping him tuned in and turned on, and he won't be able to keep his hands off of you — before, during, and after sex.

But today's cuddler is tomorrow's snorer, especially as he gets more comfy in a relationship, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. In the end, you want a partner who's comfortable with you. Rolling over and falling asleep after sex is more of a man's natural state. His body has just gone through hell to make sure he achieves ejaculation, which basically requires a lot of blood rushing to his genitals and then rushing out. That blood flow away from his genitals is what causes him to feel so exhausted. Men's bodies grind to a halt after sex and return immediately to the prearoused state.

Since women have no reproductive need to ejaculate, blood circulates longer in the genitals. That means that they remain in a semiaroused state — and have the energy and desire to cuddle, engage, interact. So if your guy is falling asleep right after sex, cut him a little slack. Try cuddling him, or ask him to hold you. But don't try to engage him beyond some good solid spooning, and don't take it personally when he falls asleep.

It's the up-and-outer — the guy who bolts the minute he's capable of moving postsex — that you should take personally. Up-and-outers and casual hookups often go hand in hand; they're likely more interested in getting laid than pursuing a relationship. I'm not saying that's always the case, but it usually is. However, since it sounds like your guy is just a snorer, you probably have nothing to worry about.

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